Sale of the Tekken!
by Chirugai
Summary: --This story was originally on my other account.-- Seventeen Tekken Fighters are brave enough to enter Sale of the Tekken. Can they survive the Hostess' wrath? Rated for violence and language.
1. The madness begins

D, i, s, c, l, a, i, m, e, r: I, Lia, do not own Tekken. Ak.  
  
A, u, t, h, o, r, s, n, o, t, e: If this fic offends you in anyway, I am sorry, this story is for entertainment purposes only, so sit back and enjoy the show!  
  
Lia: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen(some, that is...*eyes linger over the crowd*) to Sale of the Tekken, Chapter One. This Fic is based on sale of the century, the TV SHOW! I don't really like it THAT much but...oh well, meet the contestants! Okay, first we have Paul Phoenix, from the 80's, sniffs gasoline...  
  
Paul: Hey!  
  
Lia: Ak, ignore him. Anyway from China we have Ling Xiaoyu-  
  
Xiaoyu: That's right! And I-  
  
Lia: Shut-up Ling.  
  
Xiaoyu: MY NAME IS NOT LING!!!*uses thundersrike on Lia*  
  
Lia: *punches Xiaoyu in the nose*  
  
Xiaoyu: OW! MY NOSE IS BROKEN!  
  
Lia: *puts MissMacluffy'sSuperHoldStickyTape on Xiaoyu's mouth*Shut up. Anyway, our next contestant is Hwoarang, from South Korea. Blargh.  
  
Hwoarang: What the hell does "blargh" mean? IS IT A THREAT??!!  
  
Lia: Yes it is, Hwoarang, but don't worry, we can put you back to 1st grade if we like.  
  
Crowd: *laughs*  
  
Hwoarang: Grrr...  
  
Lia: Here we have Julia Chang from Arizona...  
  
Julia: ...  
  
Lia: What?  
  
Julia: ...  
  
Xiaoyu: Mmmm Mm MMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!  
  
Lia: What? You like my cooking?  
  
Julia: ...  
  
Hwoarang: Julia, can you speak?  
  
Julia: ...  
  
Paul: AAAAHHHHH!!!!! SHE'S 18 AND SHE CAN'T EVEN SPEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Julia: Geez, I was just-  
  
Hwoarang: Oh wow. She can talk.  
  
Xiaoyu: Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm!  
  
Lia: Xiaoyu, it's not funny.  
  
Julia: I thought it was.  
  
Lia: WELL, IT ISN'T, OKAY????!!!*cries in a corner*  
  
Julia, Xiaoyu, Hwoarang, Paul: Uh...  
  
Lia: *Comes back* From Japan we have two people: Jin Kazama wearing the hooded jacket-  
  
Jin: Tekken 4 'aint out yet, missy.  
  
Paul: It's out in Arcade.  
  
Jin: Yeah whatever.  
  
Lia: *Clears throat*...and Jun Kazama! Wait, there's one more left...KAZUYA MISHIMA?????!!!!!  
  
Jin: Oh crap. Not my dad.  
  
Jun: Oh shit. Not my husband.  
  
Kazuya: *cackles evilly*Hehe, that's right.  
  
Crowd: AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Lia: Don't worry, for your safety we have brought...*truck comes in and dumps 1,000s of rolls of sticky tape*  
  
Kazuya: Uh-oh.  
  
Lia: HAHAHAHAHA! *tapes Kazuya to his chair*  
  
Kazuya: Aw, c'mon! I'll give you $9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 if you get me out!  
  
Lia: *eyes light up*Re-really?  
  
Kazuya: Yep. Only if-  
  
Lia: *dollar signs in her eyes* YYYYAAAAYYYYYY!!!!! PAY ME!!! PAY ME!!! PPPPPPAAAAAAYYYYYYYY MMMMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kazuya: *shoves money in Lia's hands* Here ya go, now get me out!  
  
Lia: *put money in her briefcase*You never said anything about that!*evil grin*  
  
Kazuya: Well I was going to!  
  
Lia: Well, you're broke now.  
  
Kazuya: Oh. Okay.  
  
Lia: Now we also have Forrest Law, Marshall Law, Nina Williams, Lee Chaolan, Anna Williams, Michelle Chang and Gon.*they all walk in*  
  
Lia: Okay, now before we start the game, here are the rules:  
  
1. If you get a question wrong, you lose all your money! Yes, even the stuff in your pockets!  
  
2. If you get a question right, you get a) 5 bucks for a normal question and b) 10 bucks for a "Who Am I?".  
  
Kazuya: RIP-OFF!  
  
Jin: TIGHT!  
  
Lia: SHADDUP! Now, as I was saying...  
  
3. Lia is the ruler of this fic.  
  
4. If Kazuya smiles he is to be taken out and hit with a power-pole. Torture!*grins evilly at Kazuya*  
  
5. If Xiaoyu doesn't shut-up(for once!) she is to bend over and smacked like a baby on the bottom with a peice of frozen bacon.  
  
6. If Julia shows us her frilly undies she is be slapped on the face with a trout.  
  
7. If Anna acts like the bitch she is, she must be taken out and come back with an ugly makeover.  
  
Nina: *rolls on the floor, laughing*  
  
Lia:  
  
8. Nina is NOT allowed to kill Xiaoyu in the middle of the game/fic. If so she is to be command to shoot herself in the head.  
  
9. Kazuya is NOT allowed to show everyone his scary red eye and laceration wounds...ESPECIALLY the photo of his corpse!(What he's like now is just as bad!)  
  
And finally, 10. If anyone shows off their skills on me, they're gonna be constantly beaten with scorpios.  
  
Kazuya: What if they bit us??!!  
  
Lia: That's the whole idea!  
  
Kazuya: Oh.  
  
Lia: NOW ON WITH THE GAME YOU CREEPS! All question are tekken related. Question 1-What is Heihachi's favourite piece of clothing?  
  
Jin: Easy! He's my grandad!  
  
*beep*  
  
Lia: Yes Hwoarang?  
  
Jin: WHAT THE HELL????!!!!! I pressed it first!  
  
Lia: Shut up! Hwoarang?  
  
Hwoarang: Huggies! The best nappies for 2 year-olds!  
  
Lia: Correct!  
  
Hwoarang: WooHoo!!!  
  
Jin: Grrr.....  
  
Lia: Hwoarang now has five points, the rest zero...Question 2-What is Anna?  
  
*beep*  
  
Anna: *sigh...*I'm-I'm a bitch.  
  
Nina: Haha! She admits it! She's a bitch!  
  
Anna: Grr...  
  
Lee: Grr...  
  
Anna: Are you copying me?  
  
Lee: Are you copying me?  
  
Anna: Stop it!  
  
Lee: *in a very girlish voice*Stop it!  
  
Anna: I SAID STOP IT!  
  
Lee: I SAID STOP IT!  
  
Lia: SHUT-UP!  
  
Anna: Er  
  
Lee: HUMPH! I hate Anna! *cries then stops crying*  
  
Lia: Lee, you flooded the bloody place!  
  
Lee: Er...sorry.  
  
Lia: It's Okay!^^*hugs Lee*  
  
Crowd: Aww!!!  
  
Lia: SECURITY!*security come in and whack the crowd on the face*That's better. Now on to Question 3-what does Paul wash himself with?  
  
*beep*  
  
Lia: *removes Xiaoyu's sticky tape*  
  
Xiaoyu: Umm, umm...let see, er, i guess... I GUESS GASOLINE!  
  
Lia: Uh-oh. *puts tape back on Xiaoyu's lips*Correct...  
  
Xiaoyu: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*smiles happily*  
  
Lia: We have the Blood Talon, High-spirited girl and Lightning Fartlet...I mean Scarlet on 5 points each. Question 4-What is Yoshimitsu's "Tekken Name"? Example, Fatal Lightning, Retalliating Female Ninja...  
  
*beep*  
  
Lia: *sigh* Yes Kazuya?  
  
Kazuya: Retarded-Freakass-Freak? Heehee...Uh oh.*Kazuya realised that he's smiling and is soon grabbed by security*  
  
Lia: *after Kazuya is knocked unconcious*WRONG! But you haven't got any money, either way I still would've had it, so there! The correct answer was "Mechanized Space Ninja". Question 5-Who is Christie Monteiro?  
  
*beep*  
  
Julia: Christie is the granddaughter of the Capoeira master who taught Eddy Gordo the art of Capoeira during his incarceration in prison.  
  
Lia: CORRECT!  
  
Julia: YAY!  
  
Lia: Okay, now for a "Who Am I?"! Okay, here goes! You have 25 seconds. START!: I was born in South Korea and trained by my master who was named after one of the tallest mountains in Korea, Paektu San. My name means "Korean boy scout" or some crap like that. I joined the Korean Millitary force after Tekken3. I slipped out to join Tekken4. I am-  
  
*beep*  
  
Hwoarang: Me?  
  
Lia: WRONG! The answer was "Hwoarang"!*pokes toungue out at Hwoarang*  
  
Hwoarang: I thought that's what i said?  
  
Lia: You said "me".  
  
Hwoarang: Oh. Okay. HEY!*Hwoarang is nabbed and robbed and pinched and poked by security*  
  
Lia: MONEY!*dollar signs in eyes as she recieves Hwoarang's money*YYYYAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hwoarang: Dammit! I'm BROKE!  
  
*Hwoarang's score swithes from 5 to 0.*  
  
Hwoarang: Grr...  
  
Lia: Had enough fun already?  
  
Kazuya: *concious and all pissed off* NO!  
  
Lia: Okay, I'll be happy to make this chapter longer!^^  
  
Kazuya: I mean, YES, hehe, heh...^^*giant anime sweatdrop*  
  
Lia: Okay...  
  
END OF CHAPTER ONE! Yes, finally! Coming soon to chapter 2:  
  
Who will survive this treaturous game?  
  
Will anyone survive?  
  
Find out in Chapter 2, coming soon to a theatre near you, duh, duh, duh, DUH!!!! 


	2. PLEASE tell me this isn't going to last!

*~Comercials~*  
  
Comercial 1:  
  
Advertiser #1: Ugh, comercials suck.  
  
Advertiser #2: Yuh, I know. Why the hell am I on this damned comercial????!!!!  
  
Advertiser #3: *all drunk* Heh...*hiccup*yah stoopid eeeeeeeeeeediots...go home to ya *hic*mammas you big baffoon...*faints*  
  
Advertiser #4: *moves screen over so that everything disappears except her*This is an anti-alchohol comer-AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Advertiser #3: *puts a live full grown and exremely venomous tarantula down Advertiser #4's back* Heh...*hiccup*shut da *censored beep* up you *hiccup, double censored beep*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Advertiser #1: I'm goin'.  
  
Advertiser #2: Same. *they both leave*  
  
Advertiser #3: Oi! Wait for*hiccup*me!!!!!*drags Advertiser #4's dead body off stage with Advertiser #1&2...HICCUP!!!*  
  
Comercial 2:  
  
Kylie Minogue: On a night like this...  
  
Nicole Kidman: ...I wanna smash your nose in....  
  
Kylie: AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NICOLE KIDMAN!!!!!!!!! RUN FOR YA LIVES, PEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN, RUN, RUN!!!!!!!  
  
Nicole: Lol...Kylie, I was just kiddin'.  
  
Advertiser: If you want more fun and action like this, just call 8617368127361873162837162783612371683716837612873618736128731683716316381623871263178236178361287361273612783618731263716 and ask for Stupid Martha Focker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Nicole: *punches Advertiser in nose*Shut-up you pscychiatric little pervert!  
  
Kylie: YEAH! *Kylie and Nicole start jumping on Advertiser*  
  
Director: CUT!!!!  
  
Photographer: *still recording with headphones on*Hmmm....*starts humming "Rapture"*  
  
Sirector: I said CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Photographer: Huh? Oh, yes, of course, cut, silly me, bang, bang...did I get that in?  
  
Director: *slaps his own face*  
  
Comercial 3:  
  
Huggies Advertiser: Hiya peeps! Taday we 'ave a nyoow guy on 'is comershool...*Heihachi steps into the picture*...an' 'is is 'is costoom fer teekken fffffffffooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....................he bough' i' at 'e soopa muket....looks sssmashin', ain' it?  
  
Heihachi: Hiya kiddies! What are the best nappies in the world?  
  
Kids: Huggies!!!!!!!  
  
Heihachi: An' what do we like to wear?  
  
Kids: Huggies!!!!!!!  
  
Heihachi: What is the thing that rocks?  
  
Kids: HHHUUUUGGGGGGIIIIIIEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jin: Ugh! I think I'm gonna be sick!*pukes*  
  
*~End Comercials~*  
  
Lia: Back to the show!  
  
Hwoarang: Finally! Er, I was getting a bit bored...  
  
Lia: Good! Question 1 of round two is-  
  
Kazuya: Oi! Already? I'm not ready!  
  
Lia: Ahem...Question 1-  
  
Kazuya: I SAID I'M NOT READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Julia: *falls off her chair and everyone sees her undies*oops.  
  
Security: *Gets a trout and slaps Julia on the face with it*]  
  
Lia: Ugh. Question 1- When will Nina kill Xiaoyu?  
  
*beep*  
  
Nina: Now! Heehee! *kills Xiaoyu*  
  
Jin: Omigod, you killed Ling! *i mean Xiaoyu*  
  
Kazuya: You ba-*gets slapped in the face by Jun*  
  
Jun: Shame on you, Kazuya!  
  
Xiaoyu: Seeya in heaven.  
  
Nina: Seeya in HELL!!!!!*carriages come and take Xiaoyu's spirit...somewhere. Her corpse flumps to the floor*  
  
Lia: Uh oh. We need a new contestant.   
  
Gon: Grrrrr.....GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lia: Ugh...translation: Heihachi is a fat baby with a nappy attached to his so-called bum.  
  
Lee: Exactly...  
  
Kazuya: SO TRUE!!!  
  
Forest: Huyaw! *flips over and smashs the glass. the stuff inside it bubbles on the floor and Heihachi appears then instantly blows up. Haha! That got rid of the old geezer!*  
  
Lia: DANGIT, FORREST!!!*whacks Forest*  
  
Forrest: What's wrong with that?  
  
Lia: Nothing! Ugh...on with the game....THE GOD DAMNED GAME FOR GODS SAKE!!!!!!!  
  
Hwoarang: Hey.  
  
Lia: What.  
  
Hwaorang: Remember Nina's punishment.  
  
Lia: Oh yeah.  
  
Nina: SHIT!  
  
Lia: *shoots Nina in the head*  
  
Anna: Hey! She was supposed to do that!  
  
Lia: Shut-up bitch.  
  
Nina: Hey! I'm alive! WOOHOO!  
  
Lia: Good for you. Oh yeah and Nina, you got that question right!  
  
Nina: WOOHOO! Double WOOHHO!!  
  
Kazuya: Hey! When did you go to India and get married! HAHA!*laughs because of Nina's appearance of the bullet-hole in the middle of here forehead, like a married woman from India*  
  
Nina: Hey!  
  
Kazuya: Oh, fu-*gets knocked out*  
  
Lia: Uh-uh! *waves finger* Tsk tsk. No swearing.  
  
Kazuya: *stirrs*  
  
Security man #1: *whispers something to security man #2*]  
  
Security man #2: *nodds his head, and gets ready to swing...*  
  
Kazuya: Uh-oh...  
  
BANG!  
  
Jin: I think you killed him.  
  
Kazuya: *holds up a flag like in those Road Runner episodes...you know, when Wile E. gets hurt n stuff...*  
  
Lia: And the challenge goes to Security Man #2.  
  
Security Man #2: Woohoo! Yes! Victory! Oh yeah! Mad! Cool! *does a victory dance*  
  
Lia: *looks at her watch* Oh, shit. We're running out of time.  
  
Julia: But we can't continue without a replacement!  
  
Lia: Oh yeah. From Brazil, we have....  
  
Christie: YYYYYAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!! I'M FFFFFAAAAAMMMMMMMMOOOOOUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!  
  
Lia: Yikes!  
  
Christie: SO like, what's the question, like?  
  
Lia: Actually we're up to Question 2. If you've seen this show before you should know the rules...  
  
Christie: *nods*  
  
Lia: Yeesh...anyway, Question 2-  
  
Christie: I know!  
  
*beep*  
  
Christie: 99.9%! Yay! Did I get it right, like, yeah?!  
  
LIa: Er...yeah...  
  
Christie: YYYAAAYYYYY!!!! YIPPEEE!!!  
  
Hwoarang: Uhhh...what was the question again?  
  
Lia: How much of-  
  
Christie: ...Paul's brain is damaged because he sniffs gasoline?!!! Am I right, like, yeah??!!!  
  
Lia: *stares at Christie* Weird...  
  
Christie: *watches her score go up to 5* YYYAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!! Hey, I don't have a Tekken Name!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hwoarang: Mine is Blood Talon.  
  
Nina: Mine is silent assassin.  
  
Michelle: Mine is wandering female warrior.  
  
Lee: Mine is silver-haired devil...yeesh...*shudders*  
  
Paul: Mine is...uhhh.......ummmm......  
  
Julia: Yours is-  
  
Lia: Question 3-What is Paul's Tekken name?  
  
*beep*  
  
Julia: I was going to say hotblooded martial artist but-  
  
Lia: Right. *you know the drill*  
  
Christie: *is crying because she doesn't have a Tekken name*  
  
Lia: Don't worry. I'll think one up for you...  
  
Christie: Really? You will??!! YYYYYYAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!*hugs Lia*  
  
Lia: Ookay...*pulls Christie off* Eep...Question 4-Does everyone hate Heihachi(well, now he's dead, good riddance, that old...old....er....IDIOT!!!)?  
  
*beep*  
  
Kazuya: Um...Um..........I SAID UM!!! No, no!!! I didn't mean that! What I meant was...er....um...hmmm.....er......AYE CARUMBA! I'M NERVOUS! *faints*  
  
Lia: Wrong, but you are already money-less(whatever that means), so you stay were you are! And the answer was-  
  
Hwoarang: Ooh! Ooh! Can I sayit? Please?  
  
Christie: No, me!  
  
Julia: Pick me! Pick me!  
  
Nina: Ooh, pretty please with jam tart and sugar lumps and melted cheese-  
  
Anna: Melted cheese???!!!  
  
Nina: Hey, I made it up! *bang Anna on the head with a saucepan*  
  
Anna: Ouch! My head is on fire! No it's not.  
  
Nina: I wish it was!  
  
Lee: That is so true.  
  
Marshall: Pick me! *everyone puts their hand up*  
  
*beep*  
  
Lia: Well done, Gon. You are the only one smart enough to press the button.  
  
Gon: GGGGrrrr!!!!  
  
Lia: Correct!  
  
Hwoarang: What's 1+1?  
  
Lia: Now for a "Who am I?"!! START!!!!: I have spiky hair. I come from the dead. I hate my dad. Good riddance my dad is dead. HE CHUCKED ME IN A VOLCANO! I married Jun Kazama, my son is Jin Kazama, I'm evil like my dad, Forrest killed my dad, Lia is nutzo. I am drunk, I can't smile, I hate this Goddamn game. I am-  
  
*beep*  
  
Jun: Kazuya Mishima?*score switches from 0 to 10*  
  
Jin: Mum you're smart.  
  
Jun: Thanks Jin.  
  
Lia: Congratulations Jun, you are the first person to get a "Who am !?" right!!!!  
  
Jun: YaY!  
  
Jin: *opens a bottle of alchohol*  
  
Lia: No time for fizzies.  
  
Jin: D'oh!  
  
Jun: Jin, lets celebrate later.  
  
Hwoarang: Mmmm! Cellery!  
  
Lia: *rolls her eyes*  
  
Paul: I havebrain damage.  
  
Lia: *slaps her face* Okay, round two is over....I hate hanging around with you guys....  
  
END OF CHAPTER TWO!  
  
Okay, so you want more. Well, unfortunately we ran out of frozen bacon.  
  
HIGHLIGHTS OF CHAPTER THREE: What the hell is Christie's problem? Why does Hwoarang like cellery? Is Gon a new type of creature that's smarter than us humans? What is 1+1? Will I ever stop talking? Find out in Chapter three, dun, dun, dun....dun? 


	3. The players revealed!

Yes, after a llloooonnngggg time i am BACK!  
  
Oh, and I'm REALLY sorry to you guys who THOUGHT i was dissing Koreans. I really didn't mean to. I have absolutely nothing against them, in fact i think they're really cool! (Hwoarang is, even if he IS made up he's kinda cute! ;))  
  
*~Ads!~*  
  
Director: Hey, Hwoarang! You're on!  
  
Hwoarang: What the hell? Why the *beep* am I wearing a red dress with an apron, shiny black cuvkle shoes, loads of make-up and WHY EXACTLY is my hair curled?  
  
Producer: Stop wasting time!  
  
Director: Yeah! *puches hwoarang onstage*  
  
Hwoarang: Uh...*ckears throat* It's the hard-knock LIFE *a window smashes* for US! It's the hard-knock LIFE FOR US!!!!! *five windows smash* Steda-treated WE get TRICKED! *smash* Steda- kisses WE get KICKED! *smash *crash* *break* It's the hard-knock *building starts to shake* LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *auditorium colapses*  
  
julia: Encore! Encore!  
  
Dr. B: Oh no...my head!  
  
Jin: BOO!! *throws tomatoes, carrots, frozen bacon, and...the good ol' celery!*  
  
Hwoarang: *munches on celery*  
  
Arwen: There is still hope...  
  
Voice-Over: Evil is stirring in middle-Earth...  
  
Sam: It's the ring.  
  
Frodo: It's getting heavier...  
  
Legolas: YIKES!  
  
Aragorn: SHADDUP! I'm trying to watch a MOVIE here!  
  
Legolas: Sorry.  
  
Voice-over: You wanted it...you got it! A behind-the-scenes film of your favourite Lord of the Rings characters have reunited just for your viewing pleasure!  
  
Gimli: *burps*  
  
Eowyn: Mind your manners, master Dwarf!  
  
Grima: Hey sexay...  
  
Eowyn: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! GET HIM AWAY!!!!!!!!  
  
Voice-Over: The lord of the RIngs: PARTAY BASH! Available on DVD and Video on August the 17th (My birthday!!!) 2003.  
  
Grima: So...d'ya still wanna go out with me?  
  
**SLAP**  
  
bubbles: Hi, I'm Bubbles, and did you know you can get a free PPG backpack for only 2 cents!  
  
Buttercup: RIP-OFF!!!!!!  
  
Bubbles: Shut up Buttercup I'm trying to meditate!  
  
Blossom: *like a retard* Metation!  
  
Buttercup: Right...  
  
Bubbles: Anyway, as i was SAYING...*death glare to Buttercup* You can also get a free Cap with the purchase of you 10th bag! How COOL is that??!!  
  
Buttercup: You SO did not say that!  
  
Blossom: Metation! (yes i'm deliberately spelling it wrong)  
  
Bubbles: Grr...You're just jealous 'cos I got the main part in the commercial!  
  
Buttercup: Am not!  
  
Bubbles: Are too!  
  
Buttercup: Am not!  
  
Bubbles: ARE TOO!  
  
Blossom: Metation!  
  
Bubbles and Buttercup: SHUT UP BLOSSOM!  
  
Blossom: *turns back to normal state* Oh. Okay.  
  
*~End Commercils!~*  
  
Steve: So please please PLEASE (!) can I compete!  
  
Lia: Oh fine, but you'll probably regret it sooner or later.  
  
Steve: Yay! Thanks, mate!  
  
Security dude: Hey! You're on!  
  
Lia: Okay! lights, camera, ACTION!  
  
*corny music plays*  
  
Lia: Welcome back to the show! We have a new contest, Steve Fox, who is from...um, I actually forgot!  
  
Christie: Like, Where's That?!  
  
Lia: And here he is!  
  
**Steve falls on stage**  
  
Xiaoyu: KABANG!  
  
Lia: Hey, you're back!  
  
Xiaoyu: I know! *huge grin*  
  
Lia: *tapes Xiaoyu's mouth*  
  
Xiaoyu: Mmmo! (Translation: D'Oh!)  
  
Julia: Haha...  
  
Jin: Hwoarang STOP eating that celery from the Annie commercial!  
  
Hwoarang: *hides celery behind his back* Wfhat shelvy?  
  
Jin: Haha! The evidence is in your mouth!  
  
Hwoarang: *opens mouth wide*  
  
Audience: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lia: SHADDUP!  
  
Audience: Okay.  
  
Lia: Okay Steve, I don't have time to explain the rules, you'll figure it out if you watch.  
  
Steve: Kay.  
  
Lia: Oh, and all questions are Tekken-Related. And if you hurt me you die. Alright?  
  
Steve: *gulp* Okay. (thinking) Man she is scary!  
  
Lia: Question 1 - Who killed Heihachi Mishima?  
  
Steve: Heihachi's DEAD?!  
  
LIa: Yes, Christie?  
  
Christie: Like, Forrest Law!  
  
Lia: Correctamundo!  
  
Kazuya: Correctamundo? Haha! *gets hit by the pole*  
  
Steve: Is he dead?  
  
Lia: No, just knocked out.  
  
Steve: Oh. Right...  
  
Lia: Question 2 - Which Tekken character likes Jerry from Tom and Jerry?  
  
*beep*  
  
Lia: Um...yes Anna?  
  
Anna: Uh...what was the question again? *gets robbed*  
  
Lia: You should've known, Anna! It was YOU!  
  
Nina: Yeah, but she's too thick to realise.  
  
Lia: I know.  
  
Xiaoyu: Mmmikes! Mmmi Mmee Mill Mmmere? (Yikes! Is she still here?)  
  
Nina: Yep. *shoots xiaoyu. Xiaoyu dies*  
  
Xiaoyu: Awww not again.  
  
Lia: Bring her back! *Xiaoyu comes back* Nina, shoot yourself in the head!  
  
Nina: *shoots herself in the head* I'll never die! Which means I can kill Xiaoyu anytime now!  
  
Lia: Really?  
  
Nina: Yep! *stabs Xiaoyu, she dies but doesn't come back* Now to show how INVINCIBLE I am! *shoots herself in the head and falls down*  
  
Kazuya: I think she's dead now.  
  
Lia: Yep. Hehe...  
  
Anna: What did you do to my sister?  
  
Lia: *holds up an electronic gadget with only one button on it* When I press this button, Nina becomes invincable. But when I press it again...  
  
Christie: ...She's uninvincable!  
  
Lia: Um...yeah....  
  
Michelle: How d'you know that?  
  
Christie: I'm...PSYCHIC!  
  
Jun: OH MY GOD.  
  
Jin: Chill out, Mum!  
  
Julia: Chill out, watcha yellin' for? Lay back, it's all been done before! And if you could only let it be, you will see...  
  
lia: Shut-Up Julia!  
  
Michelle: Don't you DARE tell my daughter to shut-up!  
  
Julia: Actually, you're not my biologic mum. I was abandoned as a baby, and your tribe found me and you raised me as your own daughter.  
  
Michelle: *sniff* how did you find out? *sniff* i wanted to tell you, as mother-daughter thing, yanno?  
  
julia: NO! *falls off again and shows her frilly undies* uh-oh! *security comes in a slaps Julia on the face with a trout*  
  
Lia: Question 3 - In between which two tournaments was the Tekken Motion picture set in?  
  
*beep*  
  
Jun: Well, it was when I had Jin and I kicked Devil's ass, so um Tekken 2 and 3.  
  
Lia: Correct! Jun is in the lead with 15 points!  
  
Jin: You're so smart, Mum!  
  
Jun: Thanks honey.  
  
Lia: One last question before we go to the "Who Am I". Question 4 - Who won the first Iron Fist tournament?  
  
*ding-a-ling*  
  
Julia: What the hell is that?!  
  
Lia: it's a bell.  
  
Hwoarang: What happened to the "Beep" sound, anyway?  
  
Lia: It's been packaged and shipped off to my house in Australia. Now, what were you saying, Forrest?  
  
Forrest: Kazuya Mishima?  
  
Lia: Correct! You're on 5 points.  
  
Forrest: Woo-Hoo!  
  
Lia: Now for the "Who am I"...time starts NOW! I was born in South America. My parents were killed, and so I set off to the Iron Fist Tournament for Revenge. One year after the tournament I found an abandoned baby and took her as my own. I passed onto her the pendant that controls Ogre. I am...  
  
*ding-a-ling*  
  
Hwoarang: Michelle?  
  
Lia: Yes! Correct! Hwoarang recieves 10 points!  
  
Hwoarang: Cool! *munches celery* Wanna here my song?  
  
Lia: Uh...okay...  
  
Hwoarang: Well, it's not actually MY song cos Weird Al Yankovic sings and it's my fave and I know all the words to it. Some words are in Yiddish, so...  
  
Audience Member: JUST GO!  
  
Hwoarang: Okay, here goes...  
  
Veren zol fun dir a blintsa  
  
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey  
  
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey  
  
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey  
  
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi  
  
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho  
  
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past  
  
But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last  
  
But our new guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick  
  
I tell ya, he's to dies for - he really knows his shtick  
  
So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew?  
  
Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too  
  
Workin' like a dog at the synagogue  
  
He's there all day, he's there all day  
  
Just say "Vay iz mir!" and he'll kick into gear  
  
He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer  
  
Just grab your yarmulka and  
  
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!  
  
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey  
  
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey  
  
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey  
  
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)  
  
He shops at discount stores, not just any will sufice  
  
He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price  
  
He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel  
  
But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal!  
  
People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!"  
  
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off  
  
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul  
  
What's not to like? What's not to like?  
  
On high holy days, you know he prays and prays  
  
And he never eats pastrami on white breath with mayonnaise  
  
Put on your yarmulka and  
  
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!  
  
When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss  
  
He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss  
  
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip  
  
The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip  
  
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey  
  
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey  
  
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey  
  
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho  
  
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell  
  
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell  
  
Show up at his home, he says "Shalom"  
  
And "Have some cake - you want some cake?"  
  
Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots  
  
Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz  
  
So grab your yarmulka  
  
The one you got for Chanukah  
  
Let's put on our yarmulkas and  
  
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!  
  
(NOTE: This song really IS sung by Al Yankovic. I didn't write it!)  
  
Julia: You're so weird...and anyway, why do you like celery so much?  
  
Hwoarang: Well, it's kind of a long story...when I was born, I had half a brain missing-  
  
Kazuya: I knew it!  
  
Hwoarang: ...and so the docters replaced it with a celery stick. Somehow it malfunctioned and grew into my brain, creating my obsession for celery. Wanna see the stitches?  
  
Lia: Uhh...no thanks. Any way, tahnks for watching Sale of the Tekken! We'll be back after the commercials with Round Four! G'bye! (to cameraman) Commercials!  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
I know, this chapter's really weird and it went really slowly...but atleast you were told how come Christie's so weird, Hwoarang like celery, and you should know why I never stop talking...if you dont well it's because i'm the HOST. Hosts talk alot. Oh, and I included Steve (who's a new guy in Tekken 4) for the person who wanted to know more about the new characters in T4, but I couldn't be bothered to introduce Craig (actually I forgot! *slacko*), so um yeah...stay tuned for Chapter Three!  
  
Flames will be ignored and used to cook marshmallows.  
  
Constructive criticism is allowed, as long as it's not too offensive or harsh. 


	4. Original Characters SUCK!

TAKE MY QUIZ! It's at:  
  
http://quizilla.com/users/kiukirilya/quizzes/Which Tekken Character Are you? (you don't need to know what Tekken is for this!)  
  
...and yes, include the spaces AND brackets! (when I took it myself I got Jin! Yay! Lia's favourite Tekken Characters: Jin, Jun, Unknown.)  
  
ON WITH DA STORY!  
  
_____________________________________________________________  
  
*~Advertisements~*  
  
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Acara: Hey! You took that from the Neopets site!  
  
Aisha: I KNOW! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Acara: Put it back!  
  
Aisha: Okay. *puts advertisement back* Now this advertisement's boring!  
  
Acara: It always was!  
  
Aisha: Not until now, cos you told me to put it back!  
  
Acara: *sigh* Let's just talk about Neopets -   
  
Aisha: I'm NOT taking orders from you again!  
  
Acara: Fine! *fold arms and turns back on the Aisha*  
  
Aisha: Fine! *does the same*  
  
Christie: Hello and, like, welcome to CHRISTIE'S SEEING EYE! YOu call in and, like, ask me some questions about you, and I'll, like, answer them! Like, how cool is that! Let me give you a demonstration...*phone rings, she picks it up* LIke, hello? WHo, like, is this?  
  
Jin: It's Jin Kazama.  
  
Christie: Like, HI Jin!  
  
Jin: I need your help! I'm being chased by my grandfather's Tekken Force as we speak! *muffled gunshots are heard in the background* What do I do?  
  
CHristie: Like, I am NOT a psychiatrician! Like, please consult your lawyer!  
  
Jin: well, can you TELL me if I'm going to get shot?  
  
CHristie: Yes. You are going to get shot.  
  
Jin: Holy - AH!!!! I'M SHOT!!! *dead phone line sound*  
  
CHristie: *smiling* So call 131166 and ask for Christie! Bye-bye!  
  
*~At SOTT~*  
  
Lia: Hi guys and welcome back to the show! I've just received a message telling me that this show will go on for another extended hour! How cool is that?  
  
Contestants: *groan*  
  
Audience: *snigger*  
  
Lia: Anyway -   
  
Steve: Uh, excuse me, ma'am?  
  
Lia: Yes?  
  
Steve: COuld I, er...go home now?  
  
Lia: NO!!!  
  
Steve: O...k-k-kay...*trembles like a rabbit*  
  
Lia: *to the audience only* Isn't he just so cute when he does that!  
  
Nina: Hey! You're hitting on my son!  
  
Lia: *pulls out her control and presses the button. Nina flumps to the floor again* Shall we get a move on, now?  
  
Hwoarang: Yesh...*swallows last piece of celery* Oh no! I ran out of celery!  
  
Lia: WHatever. *hands Hwoarang a bag of celery*  
  
Hwoarang: Yay!  
  
Lia: Anyway, let's have Question 1 on Round 4, which is -   
  
Voice from backstage: Hey! You forgot to introduce this round's new contestants!  
  
Forrest: How many contestants are you going to have?!  
  
Lia: Depends. *shoots Forresr a warning glare*  
  
Forrest: Oh. Okay.  
  
Lia: Anyway, ladies and gentleman...meet Evelyn Sandra Nickel!  
  
Evy(walking onstage): Hi!!!!  
  
Lia: And now we have the star of the Demonbound Trilogy (http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1638491) and third possessor of the Devil Gene, Mikaela Everest!  
  
Mikaela: THANK YOU for not mentioning my middle name!  
  
Lia: *chanting* MIKAELA YVONNE EVEREST! MIKAELA YVONNE EVEREST! MIKAELA -   
  
Mikaela: YOu can STOP now!  
  
Lia: Okay.*does what she's told*  
  
MIkaela: *Sees Jin* JINNY!! *runs up and hugs him*  
  
Evy: Xiaoyu isn't going to be happy.  
  
Lia: *points to corpse* She DEAD, you idiot!  
  
Evy: Oh.  
  
Jin: Uh...you can let go now...*brushes Mikaela off*  
  
Mikaela: Yes, anything you want. *smile*  
  
Audience: GET A ROOM!  
  
Mikaela: SHUT UP!!! Lia, start asking the questions NOW!!!!!! *cracks whip*  
  
Kazuya: *muttering* She's worse than Lia...  
  
MIkaela: I HEARD THAT! *whips Kazuya, crowd whinces* Ask the questions NOW!  
  
Lia: Question 1 - Who saved Bryan Fury after the King of Iron Fist TOurnament 4?  
  
*ding-a-ling*  
  
Forrest: Doctor...Doctor Abel?  
  
Lia: WRONG! IT was Doctor Bosconovitch!  
  
Forrest: Holy whack! I always get my doctors mixed up! *gets robbed*  
  
Mikaela: *punches Lia* YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!  
  
Lia: *nervously*I-it's the rules of the game!  
  
Mikaela: Whatever. NEXT QUESTION! NOW!  
  
Lia: Okay - Paul, what are you doing?  
  
Paul(in the audience): *holds up a packet of crack* A friend with weed is a friend indeed.  
  
LIa: *rolls eyes*  
  
Mikaela: You still haven't asked the question...*gets ready to whip*  
  
Lia: Okay okay! Question two -   
  
Julia: *whispering to Michelle* Man, that Mikaela chick's ruining the show!  
  
Mikaela: I HEARD THAT! *whips Julia, who falls off, again revealing her blue lace undies. Security charges on and slaps her on the face with a trout*  
  
Jin: Uh - Mikaela?  
  
MIkaela: Yes Jin?  
  
Jin: COuld you...calm down a bit? And put down that whip. You're scaring me.  
  
MIkaela: Of course! *does as she is told*  
  
Lia: Hmm....*thinking* Mikaela doesn't listen to me, but she listens to Jin...and Jin listens to me...*quickly jots something down on a piece of paper and passes it to Jin*  
  
MIkaela: NEXT QUESTION PLEASE!  
  
Lia: Question 2 - Who created Combot?  
  
*ding-a-ling*  
  
Lia: Yes MIkaela?  
  
Mikaela: Was it...Tee?  
  
Lia: Sorry, that's wrong...*security robs MIkaela*  
  
Mikaela: Hey! That's not fair! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!  
  
Lia: Sorry, but -   
  
Mikaela: NOW! *eyes glow red*  
  
Lia: Okay okay okay! *Security hands back Mikaela's money*  
  
Jin: *reading off piece of paper, sounding like a robot* Mikaela could you be nicer and listen to Lia or I will not lick...LIKE...you anymore.  
  
MIkaela: Okay - hey...what's that? *snatches paper out of Jin's hand and reads aloud to the audience* "Jin please say this to Mikaela and if she does it I will give you 500 points". GASP! How could you? *glares at Lia and Jin* I'm not listening to either of you! Never, never, NEVER!  
  
Lia: Okay, extreme times call for extreme measures! *pulls out rubber and piece of paper* I'm going to rub you out, Mikaela!  
  
Mikaela: NOO! You can't do that! You created me! You ca  
  
Lia: *watches MIkaela disappear* Well, that's better now.  
  
*everyone sighs, relieved. Security comes and kicks Evy off stage*  
  
Lia: So much for original characters!  
  
*everyone applauds, contestants and audience*  
  
Lia: I know you all love me, don't ya? But now it's back to the good ol' Lia!  
  
COntestants: *groan*  
  
Audience: *sniggers*  
  
Lia: Anyway, Question 3 - In Tekken Forever, what does Paul call himself?  
  
*ding-a-ling*  
  
Hwoarang: Fatty boom batty. I was THERE!  
  
Lia: Correct!  
  
Jin: How come you ask a lot of questions about Paul?  
  
Lia: Because, in case you haven't noticed, this is a retarded fic, and we only ask retarded questions about retarded people. Get it?  
  
Jin: Whatever.  
  
Lia: I like dissing Tekken Forever, so...Question 4 - What were Nina and Wang doing in one particular scene? *coughcough*  
  
*ding-a-ling*  
  
Kazuya: GETTIN' IT DOWN!!  
  
Lia: Wrong. And wipe that smile off your face, Kazuya. *grins as Kazuya is whacked around by a pole* Anyway, they were "steering" at eachother. Oh, and Wang was trying to hit on Nina.  
  
Wang(from the audience): Oh yeah!! *belly dances*  
  
Lia: *rolls her eyes* Oh, puh-lease...now it's time for a Who Am I?.  
  
Christie: Like, cool!  
  
Lia: Fantastic. Here we go: I was conceived by in-vitro fertilisation. I was born in Britain. I have a secret crush on Christie (eww...). I am...?  
  
*ding-a-ling*  
  
Jun: Steve Fox?  
  
Lia: Correct!  
  
Jin: Well done, mom! You're a Who Am I? whiz!  
  
Jun: Thanks Jinny.  
  
Steve: Excuse me, I'd like to say something.  
  
Lia: Fire away.  
  
Steve: Well, I do NOT like Christie!  
  
CHristie: *all teary* You...you don't?  
  
Lia: Every one, new rule! If Steve lies he is to be covered in make-up and get a girly hair-do! *turns to Steve* What were you saying?  
  
Steve: Um...I don't like Christie.  
  
Lia: Ha! Liar! I can read your mind!  
  
Steve: Dang!  
  
Lia: SECURITY!  
  
*security covers Steve in lipstick and ties his hair up in pig-tails*  
  
Lia: Haha! Good thig you're hair's so long!  
  
Steve: I HATE this!  
  
Lia: Told you you'd regret it! BUt not you are eternally bound to my wrath! MWUHAHAHAHAHA! *lightning crashes* Anyway, that's it for Round 4! Stay tuned next time! Buh-bye! Oh...and by the way, I hope you learnt your lesson from this chapter - original characters suck! Well, not mine, but this was just a demo. =D  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
FINALLY this chapter is over! Review me with ideas, please! The next chapter will be a tally of things (ie. how many times Kazuya's been hit). Thanks for reading...good bye! 


	5. Game Statistics

Hello, I'm back, and I have the tally (as promised). But first, let's start off with a bit of behind-the-scenes action:  
  
Jin: Hey! Do I get 500 points now?  
  
Lia: No, because that tactic didn't work. I had to rub Mikaela out, and I'll rub you out too if you don't shut up!  
  
Jin: *gulps*  
  
Lia: Just kidding. I'd never do that to poor wittle Jinny...  
  
Jin: Uh...okay.  
  
Marshall: Woohoo! This is the first time I've spoken in this fic!  
  
Lia: There's a reason for that.  
  
Marshall: Gr...  
  
Lee: Don't growl at the authoress!  
  
Lia: Thanks Lee! *huggle-squeezes Lee*  
  
Lee: No problem!  
  
Jin: Hey mum did you know that you're winning?  
  
Jun: Am I really?  
  
Jin: Well yeah!  
  
Lia: Let's take a look at the statisticts now. First we'll view contestant information:  
  
LING XIAOYU  
  
Questions Won: 1  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 5  
  
HWOARANG  
  
Questions Won: 2  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: 1  
  
Who Am I's Lost: 1  
  
Points: 15  
  
JULIA CHANG  
  
Questions Won: 2  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 10  
  
JIN KAZAMA  
  
Questions Won: none  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
JUN KAZAMA  
  
Questions Won: 1  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: 2  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 25  
  
KAZUYA MISHIMA  
  
Questions Won: none  
  
Questions Lost: 3  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
FORREST LAW  
  
Questions Won: 1  
  
Questions Lost: 1  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
MARSHALL LAW  
  
Questions Won: none  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
NINA WILLIAMS  
  
Questions Won: 1  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 5  
  
LEE CHAOLAN  
  
Questions Won: none  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
ANNA WILLIAMS  
  
Questions Won: 1  
  
Questions Lost: 1  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
MICHELLE CHANG  
  
Questions Won: none  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
GON  
  
Questions Won: 1  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 5  
  
CHRISTIE MONTEIRO  
  
Questions Won: 2  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 10  
  
STEVE FOX  
  
Questions Won: none  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
EVELYN SANDRA NICKEL  
  
Questions Won: none  
  
Questions Lost: none  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
MIKAELA YVONNE EVEREST  
  
Questions Won: none  
  
Questions Lost: 1  
  
Who Am I's Won: none  
  
Who Am I's Lost: none  
  
Points: 0  
  
Julia: Woah...we have SEVENTEEN contestants?!  
  
Michelle: I guess so.  
  
Hwoarang: Hey! I'm coming second! Woo-hoo!  
  
Jin: So what? My mum's coming first!  
  
Hwoarang: Will you already STOP bragging about your mummy?  
  
All(chanting): Mummy's boy! Mummy's boy! Mummy's boy!  
  
Jin: *hangs head and curls up into a little ball*  
  
Lia: Isn't he just so cute when he does that!  
  
Marshall: But you think EVERYONE'S cute!  
  
Lia: Not exactly, I do find most 50-year-olds unattractive. *coughcough* Marshall *coughcough*  
  
Marshall: I am NOT 50!  
  
Lia: Okay then, how old are you?  
  
Marshall: Um...48....*hangs head shamefully*  
  
All(chanting): Oldie! Oldie! Oldie!  
  
Kazuya: Er...*hides*  
  
Lee: *hides*  
  
Paul: *hides*  
  
Wang: *hides*  
  
Violet: *hides*  
  
Lee(whispering to Violet): What are you doing here?!  
  
NO. of times Kazuya's been hit by a power pole: 4 times  
  
NO. of times Julia's been slapped on the face with a trout: 3 times  
  
NO. of times Xiaoyu's mouth has been taped: 2 times  
  
NO. of times Nina's shot herself: 3 times  
  
NO. of times Steve's had a "makeover": 1 time  
  
NO. of times Security guards have made an appearance: 8 times  
  
NO. of deaths occured:  
  
Heihachi - Killed by Forrest  
  
Xiaoyu - Killed by Nina several times  
  
Nina - Killed by herself and Lia several times  
  
Mikaela - Rubbed out by Lia  
  
Evelyn - Kicked out. Not exactly killed, but anyway  
  
Lia: Only 5 deaths? Ha! How puny!  
  
KAzuya: Yeah...*Chuckles*  
  
Ka-BLAM!  
  
No. of times Kazuya's been hit by a pole: 5 times  
  
Lia: Hehehehe...  
  
Anna: Crumbs...crumbs...  
  
Nina: What the frick?  
  
Anna: Crumby-crumby goodness...  
  
Lia(whispering): Anna! You're giving away the idea for the next chapter's commercial! *whacks Anna on the head*  
  
Anna: Oops. Sorry.  
  
QUESTION STATISTICS  
  
Total Normal Questions RIght: 11  
  
Total Normal Question Wrong: 6  
  
Total Who Am I's Right: 3  
  
Total Who Am I's Wrong: 1  
  
No. of Questions on Round 1: 5  
  
No. of Questions on Round 2: 5  
  
No. of Questions on Round 3: 4  
  
No. of Questions on Round 4: 4  
  
Average No. of Question each round: 4.5  
  
No. of Who Am I's on Round 1: 1  
  
No. of Who Am I's on Round 2: 1  
  
No. of Who Am I's on Round 3: 1  
  
No. of Who Am I's on Round 4: 1  
  
Average No. of Who Am I's each Round: 1  
  
Lia: So, that's it for now! I hope you found these statistics useful. Until next round, bye-bye!  
  
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Well....I pretty much think what my character said sums it up, so there's not really a need for an ending Author's Note. Read, Relish, Review! ~Lia 


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